10.20.06
Everything you need…
I asked for strength
and God gave me difficulties.
I asked for wisdom
and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity
and God gave me brain and brawn to work with.
I asked for courage
and God gave me danger to overcome.
I asked for love
and God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favors
and God gave me opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted
I received everything I needed
~Islamic prayer
Lindsey included this prayer one evening with our community and I can truly attest to its every line. Strength, wisdom, prosperity, courage, love, and favors are among the many things we do often pray for. Certainly these are the things I fervently include in my pleas to God as I begin my year in the Bronx. Challenging, frustrating, rewarding, exciting, scary are my initial reactions for this mid-October evaluation of what I’ve been doing, how I’ve been doing, but most importantly, why I’ve been doing it. With the hustle of developing routine, adjusting to my new teaching role, and enjoying the four fabulous people I’ve been blessed to call roommates - it goes without saying that difficulty often lies in finding time for reflection.
Yet, reflection is more than necessary to digest everything that takes place throughout the day. Some days are overwhelmingly difficult. I doubt myself and my capabilities and I question if I am really doing the very best I can. Sometimes among these widely human frustrations, we feel as though God gives us nothing that we ask for. Things are not getting easier. Problems just won’t disappear. After some reflection, however, we realize we have absolutely everything we need.
I have everything I need to be a teacher. I may not have the degree of proper training, but I have the heart, and my heart has been formed by love. It is a daunting task to stand in front of these classrooms filled with adolescent attitude so big you can see it coming from a mile away. Teaching Spanish to a widely Hispanic student population requires strength I never knew I had. Yet, the weariness I may feel on some days is inviting - it invites me to awaken myself to my daily encounters. Maybe the challenges I face at the front of the classroom are nothing compared to what some of my students may face at home. Some may learn nothing from me by the end of this, but if I am successful in teaching them one thing, I pray that they gain a greater sense of respect - a respect for learning, a respect for the people who are teaching them to love learning, and most importantly I hope they learn to respect themselves.
As I left a 4th grade art class, one student told me I was the best teacher in the world, and the kindergarten usually cheers loudly upon my Friday morning arrival. While some Spanish students (the spastic 6th graders) are eager to see me, most are reluctant to take out their books and heavy eye-rolling usually accompanies the start of our Spanish prayers. My days are varied from making puppets in art class, to hosting detention for unruly 7th graders, and then to leading exciting tournaments of “Go-Fish” with after-school kids. As my roles change throughout the day, I know God remains with me through it all, maintaining my spirits and blessing my efforts.
I am grateful for this year, how it has begun, and for the amazing things that are in store for me. I thank God everyday for the wonderful people He has placed in my life. I have found great company and solace in the people I live with. Brian, Pete, Lindsey, and Lauren are amazing individuals and I could not have asked for better people to share this experience with. Thus far, the time we’ve shared exploring the city, sitting on the couch, praying together, or just doing our “Bronx thang” have been fruitful blessings as we grow closer as a community.
Today is October 20th and I am a teacher in the Bronx - Thank you God for giving me everything I need.
~Melanie Stevens, Bronx 06-07