04.29.07

Her smile crunches up her nose.

Posted in AV 2006-07 Domestic at 7:16 pm by kyleen

Tap-tap-tap- Daniela sways her body with the rhythm of the rope. She watches intently, leaps forward, and begins to jump as I start to sing- “Cinderella dressed in yella”- Daniela always clutches her slightly over-sized-hand-me-down pants as her braids bounce softly on her head. Her smile crunches up her nose and her black eyes sparkle.

The rope catches her foot and stops. No worries, everyone gets two turns. She steps out and allows Ale and me to start turning again. I didn’t notice but she switched sides. Ale notices and reminds me, with a smile and a giggle, that I am turning the rope the wrong way. Ale’s the expert rope turner. She is on top of her game and doesn’t mind giving everyone else a turn before she gets one. She usually has braids, too, but some weekends she goes to the salon with her mom and her hair is straight and “glamorous.”

Ale and Daniela are both four. They arrive at school and 7:30 in the morning and get picked up at 5:30 in the afternoon, a ten hour day, and a fifty hour week.

Ale is a busy body. She is very helpful, sometimes overly. She can tie shoes, open milk cartons and even ketchup packets. She is never nervous to tell adults when they forget to do something or when they don’t do it right. Actually, she seems to prefer interaction with adults.

I didn’t hear Daniela speak for the first few weeks of work. She even wet her pants because she wouldn’t ask to go to the bathroom. She has grown up a lot in the last few months. First, she started jumping rope and talking to Ale and me in Kids Club, the after school program at St. Mary’s. Then, with some coaching, she started playing with Mya at recess. Now she will even ask other kids if she can play, very impressive.

One day, I asked Daniela why she started talking. She told me that it was because of God and started to sing a church hymn.

The rope catches up with her again and her turn is over. She has to make a decision. She either stays and waits for it to be her turn again or she ventures out to find a new game.

I guess that is a question that most of us deal with at some point or another. After finding something that makes your nose crunch, is it okay for you to stand on the sidelines and wait for it to happen again or do you venture out? Change is a risky business.

Daniela and Ale are innocent now. They have lucked out. They have parents who work hard to provide them with a better education than exists in their public school. They have parents who make sure that they are not coming home to an empty house in the care of a slightly older sibling. There is a steady rhythm to their day.

When do children start to get tripped-up? How long until the rope catches their feet and they are faced with the reality of their surrounding environment? When do their skirts get hiked-up and boys become a priority? When do words of sex and drugs start falling from their dainty mouths?

I have the privilege of spending a few hours a day in the girls’ bathroom. Pre-k has to be escorted. Opening the door to the girls’ room, I have caught my fair share of lewd conversations between the middle school girls.

I can only hope that Ale continues to have confidence in her abilities and that Daniela continues to look to God for inspiration. I find that hope in their crunched up noses and soft giggles.

Miss Kyleen - St. Mary’s, Lawrence, MA

04.20.07

Posted in AV 2006-07 Domestic at 10:07 am by pcallaghan

With the score tied at two apiece and only seconds remaining in the gym period, Javier gained control of the puck in the corner and passed it to Josephine, and she began an offensive attack the other way. Josephine then whipped a pass the length of the gym floor, hitting Richardson in stride, and he deposited the puck into the top right corner of the net. The goal was the most beautiful sight my eyes had ever seen. It were as if poetry had been set into motion. Richardson’s goal would be the final play of a four-week floor hockey lesson that I conducted with the fifth grade. I wish I could say that the hockey played during that time was as breathtaking as that final play, but that simply wasn’t the case. Most of the game play consisted of a traveling pack of students, clutching their sticks like broom handles, making violent swipes and slashes which connected more often with shins and jaws than with the puck. Despite the overall poor play, I could not help but feel content with the outcome of the month-long lesson. This sudden feeling of satisfaction was unexpected, because satisfaction had been an unfamiliar feeling for much of the year.

During my first few months at St Nicholas of Tolentine I felt incapable and ineffective- far cry from the feeling of success that came after Richardson’s goal. I hoped to feel successful in the classroom, gym, and afterschool program, but my inexperience, coupled with the students’ unruliness, made this impossible. I became overly agitated and discouraged with the attitude-filled students, and I did not hide my frustrations from them. As the year progressed, my anger and impatience only grew. This destructive attitude reached its peak back in January, during a three-day stint as a substitute for the fifth grade. Halfway through the third day I had completely run out of material, the class was uncontrollable, and I was about to lose it. As I was pacing through the rows of desks, a quiet and friendly girl named Kiara slipped me a note. The note, which was scribbled in an artistic combination of yellow, orange and green highlighters said, ”I know my class can be tough, but keep a smile on your face. Rock n’ Roll.” After reading the note I paused to think, then crumbled up the note like the garbage it was and slammed it into the trashcan with authority. At the moment I felt I handled the situation well, but it didn’t take long for me to feel embarrassed and regretful for the attitude that I took towards her kind action. That particular instance helped me to realize my attitude needed reshaping..

I decided I would be better suited if I abandoned my obsession with perfection and success, and instead strove only to maintain a positive and steady demeanor. My revelation and subsequent approach were crafted in large part by the words of Mother Theresa. Around the time of the Kiara incident, I happened to be reading about the life of Mother Theresa. I came across a passage in which Mother Theresa explained that during the entire course of her ministry she never prayed for success; instead, she asked God only for faithfulness. I found something incredibly liberating about her simple request, and I decided to adopt her petition as my own.

My shift in focus from success to faithfulness has had a significant influence on my effectiveness as a teacher. I no longer feel constrained by my frustration or by the fear of failing, and I can be a more positive influence as a result. By placing faithfulness at the center of all things, I have a newfound sense of confidence and strength, which enables me to handle each situation with greater understanding, patience, and kindness. In doing so, I have developed a stronger relationship with the students, and my ability to teach them has improved.

In addition, through my efforts to simply remain faithful, I have come to appreciate the importance of humility. I may not yet possess the skill required to be a great teacher, but I am fortunate to be in an environment in which I can learn a great deal. The faculty and staff of St Nick’s is filled with competent, dedicated, and effective educators. My abilities have improved by simply observing how these teachers interact with students and respond in different situations.

I’m not trying to suggest that I now go through each day without any problems or frustrations. Rather, I feel I am able to handle the difficulties I face while performing my different tasks at St. Nick’s with greater maturity. Mother Theresa said that holiness consists of “doing God’s will joyfully”. While I’m far from holy, I’m beginning to understand what she meant. Those poetic sports moments that unfurl on the floor of the St. Nick’s gym might only come about once a year, but I no longer depend on them to keep me oing.

Pete Callaghan - Bronx