11.19.07
Posted in AV 2007-08 Domestic at 1:39 pm by Jbowen01
As I sit here writing this blog it is hard to believe that I am nearly three months into my ten month stint as an Augustinian Volunteer. It seems almost unfathomable that just a few short months ago, I had yet to meet my roommates, that I had only seen St. Augustine High School (Saints) via their webpage, and that the city of San Diego was one more place I hadn’t been to. Perhaps this is so hard to believe because after just three short months here, I already know that San Diego, my roommates, and everything about this year, will always have a special place in my heart.
When the sun is out everyday, as it is in San Diego, it’s hard not to be happy. Likewise, when I am surrounded by so many enthusiastic young men on a day to day basis, it is hard not to share in their excitement and joy. As an assistant in the Campus Ministry office at Saints, I have the privilege of really getting to know the boys. Through retreat leader training, a Campus Ministry class that I sometimes sit in on, and just daily interactions, I have already learned a great deal about many of the boys in the short time I have been here. I am constantly impressed and humbled by our exchanges, especially when they share their often mature viewpoint on their faith and God.
While I am certainly enjoying all aspects of my experience here in San Diego, these past few months haven’t been without their challenges. One of the biggest questions I have struggled with is, “Am I serving the poor?” I chose to become part of the Augustinian Volunteers because of, among many other things, a strong desire to serve the poor. My roommates work with the homeless and orphaned of San Diego and Tijuana. They work with adults who have spent significant portions of their lives living on the streets and children who have been left for dead in garbage piles. Yet, my students arrive at school neatly dressed and fed, many drive nice cars, and almost all will go to college. Sometimes, I felt like I wasn’t doing what I had set out to do.
About a month ago, though, while sitting at Wednesday morning Mass with a lot of these thoughts still in my head, Fr. Tony Wasko, former principal and president of Saints gave a homily on St. Thomas of Villanova. As a Villanova alum, I have a special affinity toward St. Thomas and it seemed especially appropriate that Fr. Wasko’s homily struck such a chord with me. He shared this quote with us from St. Thomas of Villanova:
“Just as a large hospital, the world is full of needy and poor people. Do not think, my brothers and sisters, that the poor are only those called by that name or those to whom we give food and clothing. Is one not poor who lacks faith, wisdom, common sense, good judgment, reason, or direction? Do you feel sorry for those bodily wounds and not for those of the soul? Open your eyes and wherever you look, you will see a multitude of people who need your help.”
Those were certainly words I needed to hear. It is not up to me to decide who is poor and who is not. It is my job to give of myself to those who I am with this year and to be present in the relationships that I form here in San Diego. In one way or another, we are all poor at different times in our lives. There will certainly be times that I too, despite being fed and clothed, will be lacking as well.
“If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time…but if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” -Lila Watson, Australian Aboriginal
Joanna Bowen
San Diego, CA
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11.10.07
Posted in AV 2007-08 Domestic at 5:37 am by sdenehy
I am a huge advocate of awareness. Of living your life every day that you are alive, but doing it with certain awareness so that those important conversations, experiences and lessons don’t float right by and are lost forever. With that I’m mind I would like to share an experience I just recently had here in the Bronx, NY.
It was a long day at the school. Teaching gym to the 7th and 8th graders seems to becoming my biggest challenge and they were particularly difficult for whatever reason this day. After gym I just sat in soccer goal enjoying the quiet and trying to collect myself knowing that I needed to go to after school with the kindergarten. Once in after school I decided that I was tired, no exhausted, and that I was going to try to have the students try and watch a movie. (Aladdin if you’re wondering). Movie goes on, lights go off, arguing over the mats starts, complaining that they don’t like the movie follows, and finally me dropping my head and giving up on that idea. Needless to say I was happy to go a well prepared free dinner at the rectory that night. Leaving I was the first one there for a change. I’m normally the last one because I’m doing things in the school.
Dinner was nice. We had a traditional Dominican stew. For a change we were able to hang around and just talk about different things. It was nice and I was feeling a little less stressed, still tired but less stressed. Leaving with the ladies I realized that I had forgotten my bag. By the time I got back outside they were already in the apartment. I tried to catch up to them and passed one of the nuns that live in the complex parking the car. I decided that I would wait and see if she needed help closing the gate. Standing outside I noticed that the compound manger just pulled up, I will can him J. (Remember: Be aware of those sneaky life lessons)
Now my impression of J as of then was not a very good one. He was hard to reach when you needed something. He was unreachable after three o’clock because he went home. And for some reason I felt he was always aggravated when I asked him for something I needed. Regardless I tried to be as nice to him as possible. Getting out of the car I noticed that there was a girl with him. He got out of the car and said hello and had a different liveliness about him. He proudly declared, “This is my daughter! And we are going to exercise. You want to see come, come on here” Surprised he was inviting me to his office I smiled and followed. He took me through the basement that connected the entire compound that was actually really cool to a small room with about three or four weightlifting and running machines in it. “This is where I exercise!”, J told me. Smiling and nodding I looked around. He backtracked our path and brought me to a door that was his office. I peered in, looked around, and took a step back. I said, “J this is very nice thank you for showing me around. We talked a little about where he was from (The Dominican Republic). And how he wanted to go back for retirement. “If you don’t mind me asking how many more years do you want to work here?” I asked. “Until I can leave the priests in a good position because you know money is hard here,” J responded. I thought well that is a very noble and respectable thing to do. He continued, “This place has done a lot for me and my family and I will make sure my family is secure before I do anything for myself.”
He said, “My family is the only thing I cannot lose!”
At that point I was standing there in shock. My opinion of the moody jerk had now just totally changed. He went on to tell me his kids live with him and he kicked his tenant out to do so. He has two grandchildren whom when he goes to the grocery store buys everything that they need before he spends a penny on himself. He tells me how the older he gets and the more his family grows and his marriage becomes stronger. A wife to whom he has been engaged since the age of seventeen that is. As he tells me all this with an ear to ear smile on, but a very serious tone in his voice on how important his family was. As the conversation died down, we parted ways, and I walked out I had such a warm feeling in my heart knowing that that man cared so passionately about his family.
Now I am self-proclaimed realist and know that there is a difference between work and personal life. At work there is a job to be done so get it done. There cannot be outside feelings, arguments or anything else that get in the way just get the job done. In personal life there is room for feelings, relationships and all the rest. In this case however I feel like doing one will help the other. Getting to know that side of J, personally, made me respect and understand him a lot more. Hopefully that respect and understanding will help us both do out jobs better.
I am grateful that I was able to have that conversation, that experience. I am thankful that I was able to be aware enough not to let it slip by.
Sean P. Denehy
The Bronx, NY
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11.06.07
Posted in AV 2007-08 Domestic at 8:15 pm by joconnor
Middle school boys certainly don’t hand out compliments left and right and the boys at Bellesini Academy are no different. But if you listen carefully, every now and then, they’ll subtly slide one your way. Last week, we were out on the playground for recess after school and I found myself in the midst of an intense pick up soccer game. After tending to my school duties by getting the snacks out, I wandered around the parking lot before deciding to join the soccer game that had already begun. A couple of minutes into the game, I was standing near Jhoneidy, one of the “fifthies”, (our affectionate term for the youngest class at BA), catching my breath as the ball was down at the other end. “Hey Miss O’C!” he said. As I turned toward him to respond, little did I know, he was about to give me the best compliment yet of my short stint at Bellesini. “Are you Hispanic?” I smiled as I politely responded that I was not, to which he countered, “Oh yeah, you have blue eyes, you can’t be Hispanic.”
About 75 percent of the boys at Bellesini are Hispanic, with a large population coming from the Dominican Republic. I’ve never experienced being in the minority before, but here in Lawrence there is no escaping it. While Jhoneidy’s comment probably seems insignificant to most, it was a breakthrough moment for me in my work at Bellesini. He gave me a better compliment that I could ever have asked for; he accepted me and saw me as no different from himself.
Within the first week of school, I had already begun to pick up on the lingo, “D.R.” and “skittles” among many others. It was obvious those first days if I didn’t even know “D.R.” was short for the Dominican Republic, I was certainly a world away from these kids who would soon grow to become typical to me. I couldn’t look at their names on the attendance sheets because then I would certainly butcher the pronunciations. Slowly, I’ve learned all 54 of their names, in addition to learning to how say them correctly, save two or three. But it is those quick exchanges on the playground or in the hallway that seem to say the most. It is these snapshots of my days that I am blessed to have experienced.
Those 54 boys at Bellesini have so quickly found their way into a special place in my heart. While they certainly have the capability of driving me completely insane, they always keep me on my toes and I can’t help but smile at their creative efforts to try to lighten their homework load. Although some days they test my patience more than others, my relationship with each of them grows stronger everyday. Having the opportunity to spend time with them in both an academic setting and a social setting is the true highlight to my work. As the self proclaimed lunch lady who runs the cafeteria, I have the unique position to see their personalities shine outside the pressures of the classroom. The after school program is a constant juggling act of satisfying the preferences of a multitude of personalities, but every afternoon spent with them is guaranteed to bring a smile to my face.
As the soccer season comes to a close this week, so too does my stint as the full time referee. Bellesini Academy is now a quarter of the way through its sixth year in operation, but this was the first season the soccer teams had official league games. With these games came the need for a referee, and since the school is funded entirely by donations, extras expenses such as money to pay a soccer referee are certainly in short supply. After agreeing to ref for the first game of the season, I quickly learned I had become Bellesini’s full time referee for all of its homes games! It is duties like these that help me remember why I am here this year and what being an Augustinian Volunteer is all about. It isn’t about whether or not I remember each and every rule on the field, or whether a kick should be direct or indirect. It’s about the boys; it’s about doing whatever I can to make their lives just a little easier. It’s about easing their burden, lightening their load just enough to let them be boys for a little while longer. It isn’t about whether they win or lose those games, but about the lessons they learn from playing organized sports for the first time in their lives. While I might grow tired of quieting them down enough at evening study to get their homework finished, it’s a small price to pay for keeping them off the streets of Lawrence for two more hours.
At the end of the day though, it is my community that keeps me going, fueled by each other’s successes and setbacks. Gathering around the table each night to share a meal and a conversation gives me the strength I need when the boys have sucked every ounce of patience out of me over the course of the day. Some of my most cherished memories of our time in Lawrence thus far have taken place at that table. You can’t predict the crazy conversations that sprout from nothing or the instantaneous bouts of laughter that overcome us when we’re sleep deprived. Our Wednesday night gym escapades after dinner with the Augustinian communities are always fun occasions to regroup and celebrate the day. My community keeps me constantly on my toes and I know life with them will never be anything less than entertaining.
Each one of us is so unique, but we share the common desire to live and love together in this experience as an AV. It is this experience and this desire to serve God’s people that make the many of us one. We are one unit, five fingers stretched in different directions by different work experiences and different relationships, but all us joined together by God. We have found in each other the inspiration to be ourselves and this bond continues to grow each day. I can’t wait to see where the year takes each of us and to grow closer in our connection with each other, with the people of the immigrant city, and with God.
Jane O’Connor
Lawrence
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