03.25.09
Posted in AV 2008-09 Domestic at 6:48 am by Meghan Fitzgerald
On our very first day of Orientation we were given a journal and asked to take some time to write about the question “Who am I?” I remember sitting in front of my blank journal page thinking to myself that if I knew how to answer this question, I probably wouldn’t be here right now. I entered into this year of service with high expectations and goals. I unrealistically tried to convince myself that after these 10 months in Chicago, there is no doubt I would become a completely different/much better person. So here I am, seven months later…..Have I learned more about myself over the past few months? Of course. Is there still so much more to learn? Absolutely.
The past seven months have been filled with many personal struggles and successes. Working in an all boys high school on the south side of Chicago was pretty rough for me in the beginning. It was a new environment with new rules and new norms. However, my saving grace this year has been the Kairos retreat that I have been able to lead on multiple occasions throughout the year. The retreats help me to reach out to the students on a more personal level and allow me see them in a whole new light. Even if just for a few days while on retreat, the students stop being the macho jerks I see in the hallways everyday and become vulnerable young men just trying to figure out life. Being on retreat with the students and forming the stronger relationships gives me a sense of validation for the work that I do. The retreats not only renew me professionally, they also revitalize me spiritually. Each retreat has been such a powerful experience in it’s own way and each has taught be something new about myself personally, professionally, and spiritually.
“You have made us for yourself oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” This St. Augustine phrase has been a theme throughout the year for us as Augustinian Volunteers and it is one we say at school at least twice a day during morning and afternoon prayer, but to be completely honest……I struggle with this concept. I understand the idea that we should always be seeking the Lord and never become complacent in our relationship with God, but being the pessimist I am, I can’t help but hear this phrase and think to myself….I’ll never be good enough. This is a personal struggle that I actively try to work on everyday. Some days are better than others, but I keep on trying.
The boys at school often ask me why I became a volunteer. At first, I found this to be a very frustrating question because every time I answered it I found myself giving different responses and sometimes even getting defensive in my answer. However, after seven months of service, I now find peace in my answer. I can now confidently say in response “I am here this year as a volunteer because God wants me here” and I truly believe this.
Meghan Fitzgerald
Chicago, IL
2008-2009
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03.20.09
Posted in AV 2008-09 Domestic at 4:43 am by Katie Abajian
Diversity characterizes New York City and especially the Bronx. We began the year with a street festival ending in Salsa music and dancing. A day doesn’t go by when you don’t here Bachata music resounding from the subs of a honking car driving down Fordham Rd. I never thought that I would have such difficulty understanding the Irish Brogue, but hanging out with Irish immigrants at Rambling House I’ve improved my ability to understand English. We’ve also had the opportunity to watch live Mariachis and will be seeing live Albanian dancing in a few weeks. I was surprised to hear that the public schools were celebrating Jewish as well as Christian holidays. And every morning when I go to the sixth floor of the rectory, I hear the chanting of the Catholic Vietnamese community praying before their workday even begins.
My daily activities as an Augustinian Volunteer can also be characterized as diverse, because not only do I work with people from all different backgrounds, but throughout my week of service, I get the chance to work with people of all ages, from 6 months to 70 years old! All of which have added to the richness of my experience. The kiddies ages 6 months to 4 years are the primary group I get to work with. This is a group with whom I had no prior experience. So, the most important thing that I have learned is patience and light-heartedness. Sometimes I can’t help but burst out laughing when one of the kids says something funny, or makes an outrageous face for no particular reason. My favorite is when they are so proud of their size and state “I’m big, soy grande,” or when they aspire to be big like me! When it’s a Monday morning and I have no desire to drag myself out of bed, I know that as soon as the first kiddy comes into the door, I will be smiling, happy to be in their presence. They are also quite surprising sometimes in their abilities, such as computer skills, and each little kiddy is diverse in their personality, likes, dislikes, abilities, and temperament.
Every afternoon, the afterschool program brings me kids of a little older range, but still full of energy and ready to bounce off the walls. These kids are in grades 1-2, and 5-6. They once again are from different backgrounds, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Chinese, and Dominican but they all have the same objective in mind: finish homework (or not) so that they can play. These kids are hilarious and challenging at the same time. I really appreciate when they ask me questions like “what are you going to be when you grow up?” or update me on the latest Pokemon or Bakugan games and tactics.
Then on Thursdays I get to experience the more “mature” group of students- the adults. It is really a great experience to teach adults learning English as Second Language because most of them are really motivated to learn the language, listen, and practice during class. Until this year I had never experienced such energy in learning the alphabet, arts and craft projects, the Hokie Pokie, or had to translate a love letter! I enjoy little linguistic moments for example when trying to figure out the meaning of the word “fierce,” I got the response, “the fierce thing you do in the morning is sign-in.” And I’m also challenged in my spelling abilities as well as my ability to explain and charade out definitions!
So, although the Bronx is typically characterized as a dark and dangerous borough, and many of my friends and family had reservations about even visiting me here, I haven’t ever had that fearful experience of living in a dangerous place. The people in my neighborhood are friendly; they are diverse and grateful that we are here to serve in their community. I have had such colorful opportunities to take part in here that I never imagined before coming to the Bronx. With my co-workers, parish members, choir members, Augustinian priests, students, and parents living so close I am really appreciative that I live and work in the diverse community in which I serve. Come July I’m definitely going to miss the title “Miss Katie,” and the question one-year-old Nyomi asks everyday when I leave for lunch “Donde Vas?”
Katie Abajian
Bronx, NY
2008-2009
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03.18.09
Posted in AV 2008-09 Domestic at 2:46 pm by Rebekah
It was during my first day of work at St. Mary of the Assumption School that Father Tom Casey stopped by the cafeteria to say hello to the children. I had been introduced to Fr. Tom the week before on St. Augustine’s feast day. I must have met some 25 friars that day, and if there was something that struck me in meeting Fr. Tom, it was the overwhelming presence of grace that exuded from him. Fr. Tom seemed a man of few words and his humble demeanor made his story a mystery to me. Aside from another priest’s brief mention of Fr. Tom’s days in the minor leagues, all I had heard of this quiet guy was that he had a regular routine of distributing rosary rings to everyone he greeted. If I remember correctly, Fr. Tom’s visit to St. Mary’s that day seemed to coincide perfectly with Shaliah throwing Henry-Jermaine into a headlock and Jazlynn’s and Arturo’s strawberry and chocolate milks plummeting from their lunch trays to the floor, just as I was pleading with Mariah to please come out from under the table and put her shoes back on.
Fr. Tom approached the scene and asked me how I was doing. I threw on a smile and replied “Great!” but he immediately detected my distress. Fr. Tom took my hand, shook it firmly with both of his, looked me square in the eyes and told me, “One day at a time, Rebekah. One day at a time.” When he pulled his hands away I noticed he had given me a rosary ring. His small gesture went right to my heart and his words resonated in my head. Fr. Tom had given me all the encouragement I needed to make it through my first day at work. For the rest of that week, I gave what helping hand I could to the pre-K students and kept the other shoved in my pocket, all the while turning the small ring between my thumb and index finger.
One day at a time. With these words ringing in my mind I miraculously made it through September. October rolled around and before I knew it, I had assumed the positions of art teacher for grades K-7 and assistant coach to the eighth grade girl’s basketball team. These new, additional responsibilities came a little unexpectedly and at a time when I was still trying to find my footing in the Pre-K and the after school program. The thought of planning, prepping, and teaching my own art classes to about 200 kids was overwhelming enough–but coaching too. How was I supposed to assist a team in a sport that I quit during a third grade clinic because I could not, for the life of me, execute a simple layup and the idea of setting a pick confused the hell out of me? No, coaching seemed just downright ridiculous. However, I knew in committing to this year that there would be unexpected turns, so I willingly took on the challenges thrown my way.
Of course, I wanted everything to be perfect. Sure, I had a few roles to fill, very different roles, but the students were depending on me and I wanted to come through for them. I wasn’t sure how to do it, but I knew I could be a dependable source in the pre-K while a familiar face to both the children in the after school program and the family members who picked them up each day. I could be the laidback art teacher who came up with “cool” projects for the middle school students and “magical” crafts for the younger ones. In the meantime, I would let the eighth grade girls go on believing that I did know a thing or two about basketball. And if they just so happened to concoct a story that I had played ball in college, maybe even on a scholarship…so be it.
With the goal of filling each of my roles flawlessly on the forefront of my mind, there left little room for the words Fr. Tom had shared with me on my first day of work. One day at a time my growing concern in creating a calm classroom, one where students raised their hands and didn’t wrestle each other on the alphabet rug, began to take precedence over celebrating the big personalities each small pre-K child had to share. One week at a time I was torturing myself over planning the ultimate art classes, hopeful of thrilling the students, forgetting that they were already content just to be in art class. One basketball practice after another, my insecurity in the knowledge of the game was preventing me from forming relationships with the players. Besides, this group of seven 13-year-old girls, 2/3 of whom had never played basketball before, wasn’t looking for an assistant coach; they didn’t need me to demonstrate any moves. They needed me to be an example of a young woman confident in her own skin, regardless of my jump shot. I knew things had to change, starting with my mind-set.
I began to think of Fr. Tom. I recalled his state of grace, his simple suggestion to take things one day at a time. My goals began to shift from striving for near-perfection to tackling each day’s obstacles with more patience, calm, and compassion. Now my personal successes no longer hinge on the day I triumphantly lead pre-K from one end of the hallway to the other in a quiet, straight line. I stopped waiting for the basketball practice in which I set my sights upon each eighth grade girl finessing the perfect layup, or the Friday when every student leaves my art class proudly showing off their carefully crafted museum-worthy masterpieces. Instead of seeking perfection, I’m trusting that God will grant me the grace to make it through each day. My new goal may sound simple, but its achievement is much more fulfilling. And while this new approach has not made for fewer challenges or frustrations, it has given me greater strength in facing them; it has brought about a joyfulness that was otherwise lacking. As a result, my relationships with the students and faculty at St. Mary’s have become more meaningful and continue to grow.
I recently came across the rosary ring that was planted in my hands that first day at work. Although Fr. Tom has since left Lawrence for Villanova, his words have stayed with me. I was searching, aiming for perfection, trying to find my way. What I’ve found is that God is guiding me each day, giving me the grace to see me through–one day at a time.
Rebekah Callaghan
Lawrence, MA
2008-2009
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03.02.09
Posted in AV 2008-09 Domestic at 10:59 am by johnhenrywinternolte
1. On September 18, 2008, just about a month after beginning a year of volunteering, I was saddened to hear that a great friend of mine from Gonzaga Collin Keck, whom I had had the pleasure to become great friends, and whom I have always held in the brightest of lights, had passed away. He was hit by a car while he was riding his bike to work. I was terrified, alone, pissed, and frustrated. I could only think about the other people such as his family and close friends and could only hope that they were getting by in this tragic time as best they could. After talking to most of my friends from Gonzaga, some of whom were closer to Collin than others, I decided to put some trust in my community here in Lawrence.
2. The loss of Collin was the biggest loss I have ever been through. Some people grow up in broken families, some with lost siblings, and some with lost parents. I cannot say that I fall into any of these categories. I think I might be able to compete with some of the most famous children in history, when it comes to how good they had it growing up. I got to play sports, had loving parents who put nothing before my sister and I, and we had food on the table every morning, afternoon, and night. I was brought up to appreciate what I had and not think about those things I did not have. This year I have learned that what each of us has here in Lawrence, if nothing else, is each other.
3. One expectation or goal that I had/have for this year is to grow in my faith and take a large step in my spiritual journey. I am not sure what direction I am moving in or how quickly, but I do know that I am moving, and that is the important part (thank you Mr. Smith.) I had an opportunity to sit down over a few beers and a Chargers/Jets game one Monday evening with Fr. Joe, formerly know as a Counter Terrorism expert for our government. Getting to talking, I learned about his journey that led him to that Monday night sitting there with me in the one of the darkest, shadiest bars in Lawrence. It was a defining moment in my life and in my spiritual journey. In the weeks leading up to that night, I had spoken with the volunteers about how I saw God in each person that I came into contact with and in every interaction that I had with others. I also spoke about how much beauty I saw in nature and how I also saw God in those moments of seeing nature’s perfection. Fr. Joe was able to tell me his story and it led down this same path of seeing God in others and in nature. He and I were on the same page. It is weird to be on the same page with a priest about the topic of God. Does that mean that I am supposed to be a priest? No. Anyway, it felt good to talk to him and it was great to be able to come back to my community and talk to them about that night. This year, the people that I live with are those who I see God in the most.
4. Working in Lawrence and Andover has been anything but what I expected. For the most part, Lawrence’s residents include Guatemalans, Dominicans, and other people of Latin American background. Many are first generation Americans and live below the national poverty line. Needless to say, Lawrence is the poorest city in Massachusetts. On the other side, Andover is made up of mostly Caucasian families who send their children to private catholic schools. It is one of the richest cities in Massachusetts. I work at one of these private schools in Andover, and also at a private school in Lawrence with students whose families otherwise would not be able to afford to send their children to a private school. These schools and communities are only three miles apart, but it is the longest three miles I have ever seen. I have the opportunity to talk with my community and compare and contrast our jobs each day. The stories that are told about the students in Lawrence are of a different category than those that come out of Andover. Even though the population contrasts so sharply in each town and the problems that I deal with are so different, the fact that there are problems is what makes me realize what I am doing at each school. Many times I feel that I should always be working with the school in Lawrence because they have more of a need than the school in Andover. What I have learned is that each school has needs and can use my help. It is not the type of need that matters, but the fact that they have a need. I cannot compare the schools and feel like I am helping more at one school, but instead realize that I am helping at both schools, even though I am helping in different areas.
5. The weather here is rough. Growing up in San Diego and attending school in Spokane, WA, I was not ready for the intense cold and storms that occur here in New England. The up side is that we get free days off. They are called snow days. They are the only reason I put up with the snow. Balance. In the last twenty-four hours, twelve inches of snow have accumulated in our front yard and around the city. Bummer right? Well yes, but because of the snow we do not have work. It is a three day weekend. With each setback in our lives there is usually something that helps us to learn or take a step forward. Snow is not the best thing, but snow days may be the best thing ever. I guess I can put up with it. Everyone in our community is from warmer climates so we are dealing with this together.
6. The people that we have met through the schools we work at, the local Augustinian Communities, and just random run ins we have with locals have made me feel very comfortable here. If you would follow our community around and see how many people say hi to us at basketball games, walking around the city or just going to the grocery store, you would probably say that we have all grown up here in Lawrence. From the Fergusons inviting us into their homes after knowing us for only a few weeks, to the O’Deas treating us to lunch after basketball games, to the O’Donnells taking us out to dinner, we have truly been welcomed into the community here. Those who we know have made our stay here so much more comfortable. At one point, we didn’t go the grocery store for a whole week because we were given so much food and invited over to so many homes for meals. It is truly a blessing to be surrounded by such giving, caring individuals.
Many of you may have read or heard of JD Salinger’s Nine Stories. I am in the middle of reading it (thank you Rebekah and Dan) and am hoping that all of the seemingly random stories are going to be tied together at the end; however my hopes are not high. I won’t leave you hanging like that.
These parts of my life that I have described to you without any organization or seemingly fluid thought (sorry) are actually related and are held together with a common thread. That thread, which may be better described by a chain (like the ones used in strongman competitions when those guys and girls are pulling trollys and busses and whatnot) which gets me through each day is Hannah, Rebekah, and Agustin (not order specific). These are my housemates for the year. They are the greatest common factors (GCF-7th grade math) in each aspect of my life this year. I have been able to share with them the hard time that I went through with Collin. It was a blessing to be thrown into a house with strangers, and in such a short period of time, being able to see God so obviously in each of them. I will never forget that night when I spoke to them about Collin and how I felt so comfortable around them. I feel like that really set the tone for the rest of the year no matter what we were going through. Just as I have been helped by each of them, I feel like we have all had those low points where we really use each other as a source of compassion and community. Each of our jobs that we have is a source of struggle and accomplishment. Together, we have been able to get through the tough times when we feel overwhelmed and celebrate the good times when we succeed at work. We have all spent the hours shoveling the snow and weathering the storms and negative degree weather. It has been something that we all can bond over, complaining through the cold. All in all, community does not end with the four of us that share a roof (and a TV…) Our community in Lawrence has extended to our friends that we have met through each other and through our work sites.
The four of us have been criticized for spending way too much time together, and sometimes the result of that includes disagreements, getting annoyed, and fighting (or biting). But the results are also amazing. We have shared so much this year and have been able to create memories that we will never forget (indoor snowball fights, mouse killing strategies, Tower Hill coffee breaks.) Many times it seems like we are fated to spend so much time together. Just today, I was writing this on the house computer and decided that it would be better to go up and write it on my computer upstairs. My computer would not turn on after fifteen minutes of struggling, and so I was forced to go back down stairs and put up with the TV, conversation, and other distractions. All I could do was smile and chuckle as I realized that because I am writing so much about community, I should be with those that I am writing about. There is no escape, but there is also no place I would rather be.
John Henry Winter-Nolte
Lawrence, MA
2008-2009
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