03.19.10

It’s Prayer Time!

Posted in AV 2009-10 Domestic at 2:36 pm by Kat O'Neill

“Good Morning St. Rita! It’s prayer time! Please stand as we begin our morning prayer.”

I proclaim these words twice a week over the loudspeaker at St. Rita of Cascia High School, the all-boys high school I volunteer at in Chicago, Illinois. Usually, I find myself jittery by the time I get to the main office where the gargantuan, ancient announcement system lives. Nervously, I press the “All-Call” button, initiating contact with every living being in the building.

And I don’t think I’ve ever gotten through all of the approximately three-minute prayer without making a mistake.

“Today is Friday, Decemb–I mean, Wednesday…”

“In the name of the Father, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.”

“This week, our Mission Collection will be for those suffering from the earthquake in Peru. Wait! I mean the earthquake in Chile!”

“We especially remember those who have died, especially John Smith…I’m sorry! Correction! John Smith is not dead! He is just sick.”

“I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America, and to the …(15 second pause)…REPUBLIC!”

Hence, the biggest challenge at St. Rita, by far, has been my fear of public speaking. Personally, I really had no idea what my year held in store – other than what was listed on my job description. I figured I’d be running retreats, organizing service, etc. I thought I would probably have to do a “talk” on one of the retreats, but not really much else in terms of public speaking.

I could not have been more wrong. I soon realized I would be saying prayer and announcements twice a week. I also was assigned with what I considered a horrifying task: announcing the “Mustang of the Month” award in front of the entire student body, faculty, and staff at the monthly Mass. I found myself shaking as I stepped up to the altar to announce the awards. I could barely speak! I stuttered my way through the ceremony. In order to make progress, though, I realize you must practice. And so I continued with these awards. I finally got the hang of it (relatively) by this past February.

I found another, completely different, territory of public speaking on the Kairos retreats that I help lead. Kairos is an intense four-day retreat program that is for high school seniors. After going on the retreat as a “candidate”, I found myself assigned, as an adult leader, to a talk titled “God’s Friendship”. Although I had lead retreats in high school, I had never experienced the depth and honesty the talks I witnessed on Kairos.

My life story did not seem nearly as intense or emotional as those of the other leaders. I feared my story wouldn’t grab attention, or influence students. However, I felt that I owed it to the students to present my true self. I wrote my talk, including things I thought I could never tell to even my closest friends.

Nervous, stuttering, and shaking—as usual—I began my talk on Kairos. I really didn’t think my experience would have any significance to a bunch of 17-year-old boys, but I soon realized that emotions are universal. The warm reception that I found at the conclusion of my talk led me to understand that not only did my story touch these guys, it helped me to process my own emotions even more so. I have always feared being myself around strangers—fearing rejection—but I found that in being my true self I was even more accepted by others.

I found myself more open about my life not only on Kairos, but in general – especially with my community. I was more relaxed about sharing my problems and talking about emotions I had always kept to myself. By making myself vulnerable, I found that the students were even more open with me. I even felt confident in myself! Something I didn’t realize I was lacking until that first day of morning prayer in August, 2009.

This year has been full of many challenges that I had never expected. Even though I am continually tested, I find myself adapting to these new situations and trying my best to serve those around me. Upon moving to Chicago, I thought I would be the one making the difference in others’ lives—I could not have been more wrong. I learn about myself every day. The young men at St. Rita have given to me more than I could ever have imagined, and more than I can ever repay.

And although I may not get through morning prayer perfectly, I like to think I get the point across.

Kat O’Neill
Chicago, IL
2009-2010

03.04.10

Community Support

Posted in AV 2010 International at 2:30 pm by Katie Abajian

Coming into this year I had a pretty clear idea about what community life was all about because I spent last year volunteering in the Bronx. I was somewhat leery of my new community because I knew they wouldn’t be the same gals I had come to know and love last year. They would have different expectations for this year, and I would be coming into the year with my own set of pre-conceived notions. These were my thoughts before orientation in August.

Then I went home to California for the next four months while I waited for our departure in January. Just during those few months, I easily slipped back into life outside of community. I was excited to move back into the community lifestyle, but at the same time I was worried about losing the independent lifestyle I had lived for the last four months! However, that desire for total independence quickly lifted when we landed in the Lima airport. It was clear from the moment we got off the plane that community support was absolutely necessary.

Unlike last year in the Bronx, here in Peru, we did not live together for the first month, so our community wasn’t formed first by becoming roommates and scheduling out cooking, cleaning, and prayer. Instead, our community started out more as a support group. When we met up with each other we would vent, talk about interesting events, people and sometimes weird bugs and animals. We have faced cultural differences and challenges together and we’ve met to support each other spiritually all through the time we were living separately. Our small community of three has been my first resource in many decisions and preoccupations. And in particularly, as a community of women in Chulucanas we are in a unique situation and we often find ourselves supporting each other after experiencing remarks or situations in which are treated differently because we are women.

I’ve also come to recognize communities outside of the three of us, who have offered our volunteer community a sort of home in the larger Chulucanas community. Those people are first the host families with whom we shared the month of February. They taught us a lot about the culture and the simple life that people in Chulucanas live. Secondly were the people at the Obispado, where we lived for two weeks. The third group I mention in hopeful anticipation- the Augustinian Friars, who we will be meeting on a weekly basis, now that we have moved into our permanent community home.

To sum things up, my expectations about the new community were quickly redefined by my experiences thus far. Every day is truly a whole new adventure, and the support system we have with each other has probably been the only stable element in our volunteer year thus far. Since we have finally moved in together, I’m excited to get to know them on a different level. As a community we have yet to face the little conflicts that roommates always encounter, however I feel like our community of three will remain my strongest form of support and understanding throughout this experience.

Katie Abajian
Chulucanas, Peru